| Several years ago, while we were living in Miami, our | | | | America--or heck, even Miami--they truly had no clue. |
| son, Nick, took part on the court of a | | | | OK. So she chooses her court. Seven girls. Seven |
| Quinceañera party (a "Sweet Fifteen" for Latin | | | | guys. (Can you imagine what that was like?) We order |
| girls) of a gal who was a friend, to be sure, although | | | | the gown, and it is, indeed, a wedding gown. It's very |
| not necessarily a "best friend." Never having | | | | Cinderella-y. Billowy. Lots of tulle. We order the |
| encountered a "Quince" before, we had not the | | | | dresses for her court (with the tearful note that her |
| foggiest idea of what was involved. | | | | dearest friend from Miami who was to hold center |
| Turned out, this was "the event." Private dance | | | | court cannot make it up here for the event as she's in |
| lessons were on tap for everyone involved--everyone | | | | the middle of exams. A sad late note for both girls.) |
| being the Quince princess, the seven fifteen-year-old | | | | We order the shoes (yes, they have a glass-like heel). |
| girls on her court (think homecoming) and the | | | | We order the invitations. (An ordeal in and of itself. |
| accompanying seven fifteen-year-old boys. And not | | | | Have you noticed the cost of stationary lately?!?) |
| once, but twice, a private dance instructor gave them | | | | Order the jewelry for each girl on the court. Ditto on |
| all private dance lessons so they would all dance | | | | the venue, the food, the DJ, and yes, if you can believe |
| perfectly when the appropriate time came (as in | | | | it, the dance instructors. |
| private dance instructor came to their house and gave | | | | And then we start looking at tiaras. Now, I'm not Latin. |
| private dance lessons for a couple hours each | | | | (Nope. Pure-blooded Hungarian.) But even I know that |
| time...you do the math.) Girls wore floor-length gowns, | | | | Quince girls wear tiaras. And they are like, very |
| coordinated to the white Cinderella-esque wedding | | | | expensive. And I'm saying: "Cristina, can't we just go to |
| style gown of the Quince girl; boys wore rented | | | | the mall and get you a cheap one at Claire's?" You'd |
| tuxedos. Nearly three hundred guests were invited to | | | | think I had committed heresy. |
| a sit-down dinner and professional photographers, | | | | So we look at every friggin' tiara on the display shelf |
| cake makers, dance instructors, set designers, | | | | at David's bridal shop. They make these things from |
| make-up artists and hair stylists all played their own | | | | Swarovski crystal, you know! And I just had to draw |
| distinct roles. | | | | the line. I mean, this thing was getting out of hand. So I |
| Now, my husband and I attended, invited as we were | | | | start pacing back and forth and back and forth on the |
| by virtue of the fact that our son was on the court. | | | | floor of the bridal shop, turning over and over in my |
| But our other children were not; they were simply told | | | | mind what I'm teaching my daughter about money and |
| of the event after it occurred. | | | | budgets and celebrations and indulgence and |
| Fast forward five years. Our daughter vividly | | | | EVERYTHING is now all of a sudden riding on a stupid |
| remembers every single detail of that Quince...lock, | | | | tiara. |
| stock and barrel...and, now fifteen-years old, wants a | | | | She volunteers to pay for the difference between the |
| complete and total re-enactment of the whole | | | | one she really wants which is way out of my budget |
| Cinderella bit. | | | | and the proposed one from Claire's (which had an |
| Given that our pockets are not that deep, that we | | | | imaginary value anyway) and I coalesce and buy her |
| have no intention of doing the whole | | | | the tiara. |
| pumpkin-turns-into-a stagecoach thing on a revolving | | | | And when I talk to one of the court-gal's mom the |
| platform (no, I am not making this up), we have told her | | | | next day, we kibitz about these girls and teenage-hood |
| that, yes, she may have a Quince and yes, it can even | | | | and money and rites of passage. Having hosted two |
| have a Cinderella theme (she is our only princess, after | | | | bat mitzvahs herself, she had perspective. And then |
| all) but that the line needs to be drawn in the proverbial | | | | she said what would hit me like a ton of bricks: "You're |
| sand by mom and dad with clearly-delineated | | | | not just having a Quince. You're preserving a whole |
| markings. | | | | cultural tradition." |
| Well, "clearly-delineated," "pockets-not-that-deep," and | | | | And I stopped and thought about how these traditions |
| "Cinderelle-esque" are all relative concepts. | | | | come and stay. About how generations of children |
| To live in Miami, which, let's face it, has a clear majority | | | | have celebrated religious heritages with bar/bat |
| of Latinos from all Spanish and Portuguese-speaking | | | | mitzvahs and christenings and baptism parties; about |
| countries of the world, one embraces Quince parties | | | | how American girls have Sweet Sixteen's and how |
| because they occur each and every weekend in each | | | | Latin girls have Quince's. About weddings. And how |
| and every year. To attend a Quince there at some | | | | these events occur just once in a lifetime. Once or |
| point in your life is like, well, living in South America and | | | | twice in a family. |
| celebrating "sweet fifteen" as a fact of life. Like | | | | And I decided that making a big deal about a life event |
| breathing. To live in Fairfield County, Connecticut and | | | | is a grand thing. That it thrills me to no end to have a |
| host a Quince party is like living in the North Pole and | | | | daughter, and a precious, beautiful one at that. That |
| hosting a luau. There ain't none. | | | | few of us take enough time out to celebrate life. To |
| So when our daughter announced that she was | | | | enjoy laughter and fellowship and good food and good |
| having a Quince, to all non-Spanish- taking high school | | | | cake. |
| freshman, they had no idea what in the world she was | | | | We're getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving next |
| talking about. But to those who took Spanish in middle | | | | week here in America. Embrace it. And those you |
| school, they had some inkling of the impending | | | | love. With good cheer. |
| brouhaha. But as these girls had never lived in South | | | | For celebrations--Quinceañera's--are grand things. |
